I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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