This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
