just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
