he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
