I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
