ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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