I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
