It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
