I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
