Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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