All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
