Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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