so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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