you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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