this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
