I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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