you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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