just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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