If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
