lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
These tits shall not be calmed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
