On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There's always time for handjobs
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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