But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
