I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
