I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
