my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
