We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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