I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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