Porn is love you can see.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize