I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
