More tranny stories later!
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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