dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
