Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
either way he was missing a nipple.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
