so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
