Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
