I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
