Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
