i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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