im having a threesome with these popsicles
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
