People in love make me want to vomit
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
