I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
