We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
it hurts more in the daytime
well you can't waste a boner
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
