Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
