Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
