What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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