I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude i'm inner monologue high
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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