my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
we're so committed to being not committed
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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