who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
