So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
