How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
