Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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