Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
