I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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