She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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