...so i touched it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
