Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
