I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
